Tuesday, December 23, 2008

when i was home alone!!

its been remarkable but not over yet ... what started off as a wait, as a moment of freedom after a long and tiring semester, at a time when i could do anything i wanted, i chose to stay alone .. something that i always do ... but this has been different ... this one time I chose to disconnect myself from all human existence ... failed miserably, thanks to the Internet and the phone ... but i still managed to not see or involve myself into any facial verbiage .... in short, not met one of my species for sometime now... had to turn down two holiday parties and a few other casual invitations.... in a world that's so busy and running out of time, this was my only chance to spend a few days in my own company ... but then it is now that I realize, I was not alone!!!

this whole journey in time, came off really unexpected... it all started pretty much according to the plan which was to spend quality time with some good music and the long list of recommended movies waiting to be watched... but somewhere in between I got consumed by my own interests and a few other things started to gain traction!!

with time, i gained unfamiliarity with my own voice... my eardrums signaled strange notes every time the vocals were active... i developed this ability to surprise myself with my own voice... a few times that I did talk on the phone, was fun ... my vocal cords bathed in honor, because they had my undivided attention for the first time... i was giving them so much thought now... all these years they were only some instruments to make sounds for others to understand ... but now every move they made was being noticed ... i felt sorry, for they belonged to a man who dint talk much ... :P

but it has been the last few days that have been strange ... I have felt the presence of a few forces that I had never felt before ... every change around me that goes away unnoticed in the first place, comes back to haunt me when I realize it... for example, finger imprints on my window pane that were not mine ... lights turned on in rooms that I never visited ... these changes would have been easily attributed to my fellow inhabitants without much attention ... but they definitely invoke a stream of thought now because I do not remember to have caused them... I will be very happy to accept that its my forgetful living that brings this upon me... :P

but then have you ever noticed gravity instead of the water falling over... have you even given a conspicuous thought to hunger before making that first move towards the food.. there is so much that happens around us ... but in the midst of all that we see and remember, we fail to take note of the bigger picture in the smallest of things ....
adios!

Saturday, October 4, 2008

it starts again!!


took me a lil while searching this blog, diving deep into the google servers and dragging it from its sleep, out into the open... the long transition from the dhabbas (thekkas) of gurgaon to the desolate streets of durham seems to be finally over... the incentive to explore the unfamiliar is no doubt pleasurable... i have spent days looking at my laptop wishing to write 'the other blog' again .. but then i have been a champion at all procrastinating contests (never turned up :)).. lose a few like these... 'll be back!!

Monday, June 9, 2008

The virtual reality aka 'Dreams'

Disclaimer: this is not just a piece of text that is there to make me feel creative... or for you to read and forget about.. its a secret.. its my life and I have been living it for 23 years... and now I am out to explore it!!!

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its happened! .. its happened to me again today! .. and this time its left me sweating .. as i jot this down, I feel confused... is this for real? .. am i still awake?..

I dream very often, in fact everyday, and I realize that nobody pictures them so vividly as I do.. I wake up twice everyday, once in my dream.. carrying out my daily business but with a few key differences..
I enjoy more control in my dreams... I feel like a drunken kid loitering around.. a bit drowsy, I sense weightlessness... traveling a thousand miles in the blink of an eye.. on a few days I live a normal dream but on others its a festivity of colors all imbued in red (see, this is the kind of control i am talking about.. lol).. I fail to be more descriptive with words here.. because words are but tools to define what they see, not how I feel...

but the thread, the path that binds my dreams from the world you live in has always been very painful... i wake up everyday disjointing the two worlds i live in... reminding myself of the burden that I have been forced into in this world that u call real... and then i spend the whole day in deja vu!!

I know, some of you might be thinking of an astral projection... and at this point I wont disappoint my audiences... though I haven't experienced complete consciousness in my dreams, there have been times when I have known that I exist in a dream... completely free, not even scared of death.. but thats the most scary part.. what if someday I fail to differentiate!
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Friday, June 6, 2008

I am 'the other blog'

the first post of gurtu's first ever blog ended in disaster... the blog lasted a few hours... never in the history of blogging had a blog suffered such torment... in its span of ephemeral existence, few questioned its title and few others labelled it esoteric... unfortunately, most of the others couldnt even witness the spectacle...

to be honest, I completely admire those who questioned the credibility of the earlier blog (I am not permitted to name it now, i prefer calling it the 'earlier blog')... If it wasnt for them I wouldnt have come to life and since they have created me, I lie in safe hands.. I will live long..

welcome to me.
I am the other blog!!